on not being yourself

“Grimby?” No reply. “Griiimbyyy.” Grimby stirred from slumber where he dreamed of medals. “What?” He muttered, his eyes still half-closed. “What were you dreaming of?” “Medals.” “Medals from the war?” “No, snooker.” Grimby closed his heavy eyes. The week had wankered him and this sofa was warm and cosy. He could sleep for years. “Were…

Why Liverpool and not Everton? Why Celtic and not Rangers? Why Land’s Tooth and not Land’s End? Truly, it’s a question. Why why why why why? These are the questions that turn us into procrastinators. These are the questions that keep Murdoch dining at expensive establishments. These are the questions that many Popes have failed…

Brandy, the Doberman, was on a mission to deliver a very important package to a very important woman. They did not know what it contained. It was a mystery. Maureen agreed. As Brandy made haste across the northern terrain, package in fangs, they realised that time was running out. They would need to solicit the…