What to do if the person interviewing you for a very important job isn’t wearing any trousers? This was the quandary that Dog McFarry found himself in.

It had been going so well. Then, he noticed. No trousers. His first instinct was to run. To jump out of the window even. But then he remembered he wanted the job. No, needed the job. He was flooded with questions. They call this having serious doubts.

Could he work for such a man? A man who forgets to wear his trousers to an interview he is conducting. Or worse, chooses not to wear his trousers to an interview he is conducting. This company was meant to be respectable. The Times newspaper said it was a great place to work. Ping pong tables for workers. Fantastic.

But this evolving situation was a concern and a concern for which answers are poorly disseminated amongst the population. Why didn’t they teach things like this in school? The education system is on its arse. No wonder the world is fucked.

Worse than that, time was finite and he had to make a judgement call. His pulse was raging, much like that time he’d tried a spouse swap and ended up being spanked in a leather nappy while bent over an air fryer. Ever since, he’d get serious palpitations at the sight of an air fryer. Pavlov’s dog.

“Sir,” Dog said, his voice breaking slightly. He was sheepish, there was no getting away from that.

“Yes, Dog?”

“Sir…” He paused, wondering whether to pursue this. No one’s denying it was tense but, as if touched by God, he found an inner strength.

“I don’t mean to offend, but you aren’t wearing any trousers…”

The interviewer heaved a sigh of relief and smiled. It was as if a great weight had been lifted. Tonight he would sleep well.

“Thank God. You are the first person who’s had the balls to point that out after three weeks of interviews. Finally, I am done. You’ve got the job, Dog. See you Monday.”

He stood up from his desk and retrieved his trousers from a drawer. He slipped his legs in, pulled them up to his waistline and looked at Dog. “That independence of thought,” he said. “Don’t ever lose that.” Then he winked, buckled and zipped.