The reasons for running were sound – fitness and glory. Nonetheless, and none the more than is reasonably necessary, The Man with a Big Chin did not enjoy it. He did not enjoy to run. Let me repeat that, he did not enjoy to run.

Why? Why did he not enjoy to run?

Well, there are reasons if you’ll give me a minute.

It hurt his feet. Blackened his big toe nail. Made his underarms perspire. He would rather be watching The Sopranos with a takeaway pizza. All reasonable reasons, yet still he ran. Is this what they mean when they say that people are mad?

As The Man with a Big Chin was running, a very singular and very specific insight struck him. Running is like life. One foot in front of the other, even when you don’t want to, and all you get for your efforts is sweaty and maybe a free banana (although often you have to pay).

Is this what evolution has done to us? The human race. God’s greatest power play. We could satisfy our deepest needs with video games, and would that be such a bad thing? I don’t see the shame in it. But no, The Man with a Big Chin was compelled to run.

And the icing on the cake? As he ran the biggest race of his life, he thought he was doing well. He felt pride. Then, a man dressed up as a pineapple overtook him.